Being Like my Mom

It's not a bad thing! (Maureen, read this to the end.)
I read on Facebook, "Sometimes, when I open my mouth, my mother comes out." Well, for me. A lot of the times.
My mom's faith seems to be the strongest thing I mimic of hers. But, it's not hers; it is mine now. Eternal faith in God that everything will turn out just fine. That perfect optimism that, well, isn't so perfect.
I have wondered why my daughter dreads making decisions so much. It's hereditary. I don't like making decisions either. So, I put them off as long as I can. Yes, most of the time, they resolve themselves. Or, better yet, someone else (especially at work) comes up with a better idea than I had and I grab that one and run with it. I guess that's why I like working in teams; we can all look good. (I do not take other people's ideas and pass them off as my own. I just want that to be clear.)
But my mom is 86 years old, as I write this. She is clinging to that faith, and failing to make decisions. This lack of decision-making has her children in difficult situations.
She's being treated for leukemia in Canada with a drug that is causing severe osteoporosis. Her treatment here in the states did not have this effect, AND seemed to work miraculously with her body to combat this disease. But she had to be home with her husband. Now, after two broken and two cracked hips, she has one new one. Other problems are inhibiting her exercise to keep it strong, and it has slipped out twice.
So, to make a long story short: Mom lives in Canada most of the time, where her health deteriorates. She comes to visit us to be patched back together, so she can go home to fall apart again.
All the while, sister Barb is telling Linda, Patti and I, "Don't do this to your children! Plan ahead." Hmm. That means, making decisions.
Years ago, I was called to go visit my great aunt and uncle in Tucson when he had been hospitalized. They were far, far from her children (he had none) and they were trying to figure out what was going on. I was their eyes. And I saw two old people trying desperately to be independent; trying fiercely to hold on to their lives.
At what point do we have to give up a part of our lives, a part of our independence, to regain some freedom? At what point do we become a burden to our children?
I'm starting to think it is a short time in between bearing them and burdening them that we are called to really live. Have fun. Because when we start to become a burden, we do have to abandon some of the personal decisions we have come to treasure.
How can I say that? I'm not there yet. But, I'm seeing it. I'm seeing and feeling the frustration of our mom's declining health on me and my siblings. She doesn't seem to sense it at all. So, perhaps at some point in the future, I will have to read this and ask myself if my children are pulling their hair out.
I am convinced that my children will make good decisions for me, but, they will be compromised decisions, based upon what is good for them and what is good for me. Because that's what we want for mom. With our five brains, we've wrestled with many different plans/ideas/situations. Some of them stem from the fact that we are being inconvenienced by our mother. Many of them come from our concern for her health.
So. Do I let my children make decisions for me? Or, do I start making them now? But, what decisions can I make now?
Do I decide not to decide, and then try to pick one of the best options they might have for me? Will making decisions be easier then? I think not. So, how do I not be like my mom, and plan ahead?