Been there; done that.

Yeah. Been there; done that. Don't want to do it again. But I realized tonight that it snuck up on me. I avoided it a couple times in the last couple years. I could smell it, sorta. Something. Then, tonight, there it was.
I feel like I'm teetering on the abyss of depression again. I don't know why. I have a job I enjoy. It's tough, but it's important and I get to help people. I have a great husband; great kids. Oh, I could list so many things.
So, they would probably say we have to diagnose the situation. Quite honestly, I think I might not be busy enough. As much as I am enjoying not having homework, I think there is a part of my brain that is ashamed (?) or feeling useless because it's just not working as hard as it has been for almost three years.
I've been enjoying my weekends, and feeling guilty about it. I thought maybe it was because of my job. But, maybe it's because of my now-lazy brain!
We went on a HOG dinner ride to Clear Springs for catfish and onion rings. Then over to the Phoenix Saloon for bike night. Met some dancing friends there. Beautiful ride home, with the Big Dipper out in front of us. Gorgeous. And I was feeling guilty; or I was worried there was something else I should be doing. Something is bothering me; it's like a little cloud hanging around.
So, I'm on a quest to identify it and run as fast as I can as far away from it as I can. Since I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and I truly know that the joy of the Lord is my strength, I really do know exactly where to start. Psalm 91 is a good one for my son while he's on assignment; but it's also a good one for my mind, so I'll start there. And head on into some mind-strengthening exercises in Matthew, I think.
God is good; all the time - and especially when I need him.